A LETTER FOR MY SISTER + ALL MOMS
Now that baby number 2 has arrived, I’ve been doing some research of my own for you, and maybe there’s just no real way to prepare for the second one. Well, aside from being ready to just go with the flow!
I’ve heard your concerns loud and clear, questions like “How am I going to get any sleep with two babies?”, or “how are we ever going to be able to eat out again?” Honestly, I’m nervous for you.
I was also startled when I learned there will come a time, when the “fighting phase” KICKS in. I can hear them now, yelling “he punched me,” “he pinched me!” I will be there to help with both of your babes as much as possible and I promise not to feed the new baby four bottles of your breast milk in two hours like I may have accidentally done that one time… See the things you know for the second time around?! But let’s just start with a few pearls of wisdom from some of our favorite Moms.
For my sissy, and for all you wonderful moms adding another little one, some words from the wise.
One of my favorite moms, who was a childhood bestie, Jacque S has some great advice:
- If someone comes over to see the baby, you hand him to them without hesitation and ask if you can run out for a few minutes to pick up some juice. Just remember, for mommy, juice = wine.
- Don’t yell at your kids. Lean in real close and whisper… It’s much scarier.
- It’s not easy, but it is worth it. You don’t have to enjoy every second, but try to enjoy the great moments. And don’t just tell your kids you love them everyday, show them.
- Remember that the second kid is always different (duh). I think that you go into the second one thinking that you are prepared based on all of the stuff the first one put you through, but then you realize that the second one has a totally different personality and you end up tackling NEW challenges.
Your bestie, Kristen K, offered up these great tidbits:
- When they get a little older, take time to spend time one-on-one! Take one child out at a time for a fun date… it is special parent time that Mateo and Leo will really value later on in life!
- Try to time naps so they happen close to the same time; it gives you a little one-on-one time, plus you might get time to nap, too.
- Always have a baby carrier so that the baby can go in there and then you are hands-free to help Mateo with what he needs.
- Keep a second set of everything ready — like diapers, wipes, snacks (Goldfish, Cheerios), a change of clothes for both, bottles/formula — so that when you are trying to leave the house, it doesn’t take forever to get a bag ready.
- Give Mateo a special job/role and stress that he is your big helper so he feels like a part of all the new changes.
- Have easy to grab or prepare finger foods for Mateo at meal time so you don’t have to stress about making a whole meal.
- Remember that there is only so much that one can do and you are doing the very best that you can; handle the greater need first!
- When you’re about to hit the breaking point, call Kristen and she will come over with a bottle of wine to help you out!
From our wonderful Dad:
- Always remember that they’re two different people.
- Always remember they will not always get along.
- Remember to tell them how much you love them.
- Always remind them to learn from their mistakes.
- Remind them that they will always be best friends.
(Court note: This is something our parents used to tell us this when we were fighting and we hated it. we’d cry, saying “never,” “I hate her,” and so on. But sure enough, we’re best friends.)
- Always insist they not try to back their cars out of the driveway at the same time.
(Court note: Oops! I backed into my sister’s brand new Mustang in high school. Let’s just say there were tears.)
And to my sissy from me:
I am so proud of the mother you’ve become. You’re doing an outstanding job, while keeping your fabulous sense of humor intact (see photo below). Try to find “me” time or “couple” time, whether it’s a trusted friend, a grandparent, hire a babysitter, so you can go out. Or call Aunt Coco, it’s only an hour flight away. You got this!
And Baby Leo, I can’t wait to spoil you, and I promise to give you the same rules I’ve given Mateo: There are no rules with me! You can have popsicles for breakfast and watch whatever TV you want. Just don’t tell your mama. LOVE forever and ever, Auntie Coco
Got some great pearls of wisdom? Help a sister and a momma out and leave them in the comments!